It's Not So Easy
by SavannaSmiles2010
Summary: Clare is heartbroken after the breakup. She's trying her hardest to get over it, but not much of anything is helping.


Her heart began to race, the room was spinning again, how was he always doing this to her? She had known the guy for years, they had always despised one another. Now here they were, standing in her room, breathless. He grinned at her and she felt her knees begin to go weak, grabbing his shirt she stumbled backwards to the bed, giggling softly trying not to wake her mom. _**"Jake, we can't do this."**_ He didn't speak, only used his finger to tilt her head upwards giving him access to her neck. _**"Ja.."**_ Clare couldn't even finish his name, the word caught in her throat. That's exactly what he had been doing to her the past two weeks, making her forget her words and become this crazy, lust- infatuated teenage girl. Not to say Clare didn't enjoy it, because she more than enjoyed it. When she was with Jake, thoughts of Eli faded away and they didn't come back until Jake was gone. But they always came back. Clare pushed on Jake's chest softly. _**"Okay, Mr. player, it's time for you to go."**_ He raised his eyebrow, looked at the clock beside her bed and rolled his eyes before lifting away from her.

"**It's Eli again isn't it?"** Clare scoffed at him, but silently cursed him in her mind. How did he know? Wasn't that supposed to be a girl sense, to know when the guy was thinking something else. Guys shouldn't have that power too. He stood at the end of the bed his arms crossed.

"_**What? No, how could you think such a thing? You're helping me forget him, remember?"**_  
>Jake took the seat next to her and grabbed her hand, <strong>"Clare, I'm not stupid. It's only been a few weeks of us doing .. whatever it is we're doing. You can't be over him yet. I'm trying, but there is only so much I can do."<strong> Clare nodded, he needed to feel like he was helping, because if he didn't he wouldn't leave it alone.

_**"Yeah, it's not him, I'm just tired. Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow. I guess I'll see you at school?"**_ Jake nodded his head, planted a kiss on her forehead and went to her window. He'd gotten good at climbing the tree next to it. Clare watched him as he shimmied down the branch, before thumping with his boots onto the ground below, he looked back up and waved, but then disappeared into the night.

Clare walked over to her closet and pulled out a box, she couldn't believe how cliché she had been about keeping she and Eli's things. They hadn't been together but for three months, but those three months meant more than anything in her life. He held her for hours while she sobbed about her parents, he'd seen her at her worst. She shook her head and wiped the tear that was rolling down her cheek. **"Get over it Clare, you guys are over." **

Talking to herself had become a habit as of late, maybe she felt as if she was the only one who would listen to her, she never knew why it started, but she felt comfort in speaking the words out loud to herself. It was almost as if the intangible words are what made the situation real to her. She opened the box slowly and picked up the cd that was right on top, their first kiss captured on video for a school project. She smiled and ran her thumb across it, she couldn't help but to reminisce. She missed him, not the Eli he had turned into at the end, but the smartass, overly-cocky boy she was first intrigued by. She shut the lid to the box and pushed it away from her as she pulled her knees closer.

This had become her nightly routine; make out with Jake for a bit, then think of Eli, pull the box out and cry herself to sleep. All she wanted was to be normal again, sure to everyone else she put on a beautiful smile and a happy personality, but inside she felt number than Eli said he was. She pushed herself off the floor and collapsed onto the bed, sleep never came easy, but it eventually came to her. She hugged her pillow tightly, pretending that this was all just a bad dream and one day she'd wake up, Eli beside her holding her hand. But for now, she had to live in this nightmare. She thought about one of her favorite books and one of her favorite quotes from it. "Damn it, how will I ever get out of this labyrinth?"


End file.
